Steps For Picking And Winning Your Battles
As an employee we spend nearly three – five hours a week grappling with interoffice politics that have nothing to do with our job descriptions, there are the complex emotions and common tensions we deal with daily in our personal relationships.
How many of those boils over into heated arguments—or even candid conversations—is a different question.
Many of us prefer to avoid confrontation altogether, particularly with those we see often.
But that’s not necessarily the best route for retaining close personal and professional relationships.
Working through a conflict can actually build stronger relationships.
Let the minor issue slide
You aren’t a pushover if you let the minor issue slide. confronting people over issue after issue just may backfire and create more stress in your life. Sometimes, the issue that’s bugging you isn’t as important as preserving the relationship. It may be more productive to focus on maintaining the positive dynamic you have and let the little things go.
If you’re contemplating having a difficult conversation with someone. make sure you’re calm and not reacting in the heat of the moment. At best, this break may make you realize that you can skip the battle.
Other times, it will help you figure out in advance how you will frame the conversation to respect both of you. Remember, issues can come and go, but relationships stay.
Time it Right
Even if you’re right but the perpetual issue that’s been nagging you just can’t be swept under the rug anymore. Still, you need to make sure your conversation is held at the right time for it to be effective.
If you are angry or the conflict has just happened, these are red flags that it is the wrong time to bring up issues. It’s best to never try to hash out a conflict when you are in a heated state.
Timing is key so avoid conflicts when you’re still feeling upset about it. Take a walk outside, keep yourself calf, relax your mind than think about the issue.
Handle it one on one
there are different sides to every story. So, before you confront someone over missteps, expect that he or she will have explanations for what went wrong. Try to handle it one on one—you may escalate a conflict, or invite more scrutiny yourself, if you include a supervisor in a confrontation with a co-worker.
Admit any faults on your side upfront. Starting a sentence with “you did” can automatically put the other person on the defensive.
When you focus on how the action made you feel, or how you perceived it, rather than the other person’s action itself, you ease the tension and allow room for the other person to clear up misperceptions or misunderstandings without feeling attacked.
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Image Reference: https://unsplash.com/photos/m2TU2gfqSeE
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